Worst of 2014

worstof

Alright, there have been a lot of horrendous horror movies this year. Some of them have even received some praise. This is my list of the absolute worst of the worst of 2014. Of course, this is just my opinion, if you saw something worse please feel free to let me know in the comments, and if these were your favourite movies of the year…well…good luck with that I suppose.

(Clicking on the pictures above the small blurbs will take you to my full review.)

15
id

Boring and nothing real to contribute. A cool poster or not, this one falls so flat and only serves to contribute to the continuing disdain people have for ‘found footage’ movies. I had a bad feeling about it from the get go, and it only proved me right from beginning to end.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE: N/A

14
zb

The movie is called Zombeavers, it should have been fun, instead it was stupid. I don’t have anything else to say about this, just don’t watch it. Seriously. Don’t.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

13
dd

Such a waste, great advertising for this one. Could have been something interesting, but more effort went into the poster design than the script writing. So so so so so shitty, AND it got a theater release. Yeesh.

BUDGET : $7 MILLION // $36.4 MILLION

12
tpmk

Another outrageously boring, low budget found-footage movie. I really am starting to see why people are so avidly against this kind of movie. When it’s done badly, it just looks lazy and uninspired. Put at least a little effort into your films, that’s ALL I’m asking.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

11
et

The Vicious Brothers just don’t make good films. I know that Grave Encounters made everyone’s dick hard, but honestly this is just such a shining example of the sub-par movies they produce. I really wish that wasn’t the case, I would love to be able to show some love for a Canadian indie horror duo, but it’s just … really bad.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

10
sv

This is why people don’t take indie movies seriously. Just… skip it.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

9
vv

What a total disappointment. I was really anticipating this movie. I had enjoyed the previous 2 V/H/S films, and things were definitely looking up. The subtitle “VIRAL” was a minor red flag, but honestly I was ready to overlook it. The sad thing is, the formula that had worked (in my opinion) so well with the previous films was just thrown away and replaced with this jumbled mess of a movie. What a god damn shame.

BUDGET : N/A // BOX OFFICE : $2,567.00

8
du

Ever wonder what the back story of Dracula was? No, of course you fucking didn’t. Good thing you paid to see it in 3D though guys!

BUDGET : $70 MILLION // BOX OFFICE : $215.2 MILLION

7
sne2

So many people I like are in this movie… not to mention some kick ass twins at the helm. This could have been so much fun. Instead, it was boring. Holy Christ was it boring…

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

6
tpa

I mean… seriously? The only thing I want to Purge is this movie.

BUDGET : $9 MILLION // BOX OFFICE : $110.6 MILLION

5
dufe

What a total fucking mess this movie was. So overblown, so much work went into convincing us all that it was TOTALLY REAL BRO, that so little went in to actually making it interesting or fun or even scary. Some incredibly weak performances, and all the things that are wrong with every movie trying to rip-off The Exorcist in some way.

BUDGET : $30 MILLION // BOX OFFICE : $87.9 MILLION

4
t

It’s indie, so it’s probably good right? Plus it’s CANADIAN!!! AND BRUTAL RIGHT?! AND AWESOME RIGHT?! No. This movie sucks. Watch something else. Watch You’re Next. It’s better.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

3
a

Holy fucking cash-grab Batman! This movie road so hard on the coattails of Wan’s film and just reeked of desperation. What we wound up with was an unoriginal, uninspired, overblown mess. Such a wasted opportunity, and such a blatant cash-in. Weak-balls.

BUDGET : $6.5 MILLION // BOX OFFICE : $252.6 MILLION

2
lo

Should I have expected anything more from this movie? No, probably not. Should you bother with it? Fuck no. This movie is garbage. Further proof that not everything works with a gritty reboot. Not that this was gritty, but it was sure tryin’ it’s darndest.

BUDGET & BOX OFFICE : N/A

1
o

Insulting from beginning to end. This is one of those movies that shows so little respect for the genre, and the fans of it. It’s pretty clear this was patched together from nothing, and just a cash in for a weak movie to put out at Halloween. You guys need to demand MORE from horror movies, and not let shit like this pass. The trailer was bad, and yet it made TEN TIMES it’s production budget. That means this will keep happening until we stop settling. Just because its horror doesn’t mean it deserves our attention. Don’t give money to a project that doesn’t respect you. Horror can be, should be, and IS so much more than THIS. Fuck you Ouija.

TOTAL BUDGET : $5 MILLION // TOTAL BOX OFFICE : $74.3 MILLION

fuck

(note: this does not include the budgets/box offices that were not available, nor does it include the money made in streaming, or DVD sales. still though, every shit horror movie in 2015 is totally on you.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS (AKA : WORST MOVIES THAT ARE NOT HORROR MOVIES): Transformers: Age of Extinction, Sin City : A Dame To Kill For, Robocop, 300: Rise Of An Empire, Ninja Turtles

 

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