Zombeavers (2014)

Happy Halloween everyone! It’s the day 31 of my #31DaysOfHorror and it’s Halloween! I hope everyone has a safe, and wonderfully fun evening! Leave comments with your favourite horror movies, and play along on Instagram with the tag #BarleyDoesHorror.

zombeavers

Unfortunately the end of this little series of movies is ending on a bit of a down-note, with the disappointment of Killer Klowns, now we have to talk about -sigh- Zombeavers… Here’s the plot, if you couldn’t guess from the title :

ZOMBEAVERS is an action-packed horror/comedy in which a group of college kids staying at a riverside cabin are menaced by a swarm of deadly zombie beavers. A weekend of sex and debauchery soon turns gruesome as the beavers close in on the kids. Riding the line between scary, sexy and funny, the kids are soon fighting for their lives in a desperate attempt to fend off the hoard of beavers that attack them in and around their cabin.

In actuallity Zombeavers is a garbage can of a movie, set in a universe that is essentially populated with unlikable, flat characters and horrendously uncharming beaver puppets. The movie starts off with a surprise cameo from Bill Burr, which actually kind of made me think I might be in for something fun and interesting. I was so seriously wrong.

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We meet our three heroines who are deeply irritating, and then soon after are introduced to their idiot boyfriends. It’s really hard to feel bad for them once the.. -sigh- beavers attack. Another thing that, in this case, actually kind of irritated me is that we spend the majority of the time in the movie that includes the female characters with them mostly naked. It all just was forcing camp and goofiness to an extend that was nearly nauseating.

While the movie has a few over-the-top and goofy deaths, it really just feels so forced and like an active attempt to be tongue-in-cheek, instead of taking the material seriously. There’s nothing funnier than playing goofy content as straight as possible, and as soon as movies start winking at the audience, they begin to lose any possible charm they might have had in the first place. There’s plenty of gore, if that’s the only thing you want from your horror movies, but I implore you to demand more from your horror movies.

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It’s poorly acted, dull, and really, very stupid. Don’t watch this movie, pick literally any of the other movies I’ve reviewed this month. Though, I’m sure with the popularity of stupid movies like Sharknado, this one will be a hit in the next few months. I’m telling you now, it’s really not worth the time. Really, it’ struck me as lazy, pandering, nonsense.

FINAL GRADE: F

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